The Post Grad Blues

Something that universities and colleges fail at informing the graduating seniors, is the period of time between graduation and "figuring out your next move". Now where in my "Welcome" packet 4 years ago or my "See ya Later Grad" compilation did I read something close to,

 "CAUTION: After your 4 glorious years at this fantastic institution you may experience a type of "uncertainty" or "anxiety" following the commencement of your graduating class." 

Something I have named,

The Post Grad Blues.

Judy Blume never prepared me for this odd, bittersweet feeling of uncertainty. I think many of us entered our 4 years of education with this belief that by the time we're standing up in front of our friends and families, getting ready to move our tassels and cross the threshold into "real adulthood", that we would have finally figured out the answers to our lives and passions

WRONG.

I can't help but fight this sinking feeling,
something I am unable to put into words.
I will be turning 22 in about 2 1/2 weeks, traveling to Europe for my belated graduation trip with my best friend and mother, soon to be followed by packing up my Utah life and heading South to my  native home desert for a few months of nesting before embarking on my year long adventure in Costa Rica with Language Corps.
Now don't get me wrong;
I'm ecstatic for all these adventures to come, this case of Wanderlust has manifested in various ways and adventure is calling and I must go; I feel incredibly blessed  and fortunate for the opportunities and support that has gotten me to where I am and where I am going.
But still,
This un-namable feeling and looming sadness.
As my life in Utah comes to a close, I have no doubt in the Universe for the timing and particular experiences, feelings and decisions I must make.
But by no means does that make ANY of this easy.
Like mentioned in many of my earlier blog entries, I am a self-identified homebody and old soul.
SHOCKER.
So this unknown future is daunting to say the least. I feel bits and pieces of the similar anxieties from the summer between my senior year of High school and freshman year of college; however looking back, it doesn't seem as "unknown" as it had felt. College is, in many ways, straightforward.
You have the next for years to be a student. The new and exciting part is the privilege to define what being a student means for you, but frankly each semester goes through the same ebb and flow of coursework, stress and final grades.
But alas, I'm rambling; odd phenomena, I know.

Will I miss Utah? Will I be homesick for my old, vintage rental space in Salt Lake rather than my home in Arizona? Or will I miss bits and pieces of both?
Utah in many ways has become my home, I've lived the most recent years of my life  in this state and with the people I've surrounded myself with- which has slowly dwindled to a VERY select few; many with four legs and fur.
So whilst I procrastinate, another rare occurrance for me, hee ha ha.., on my online classes during thee very last summer session of my college career, I can honestly say that I am wholeheartedly putting my trust into the Universe and the divine plan and nature of my life. That is a challenge for me to say the least, but if there is one thing I've learned during this limbo phase of pre-"real" adulthood,
is that we really do not have control over anything; so we might as well enjoy the ride.

Keep it real earthlings; Namaste,
The 20-something old soul.